~*~Kevin~*~

Jessica came up again right before the end of the tour and stayed through the last night back home in Orlando. Things were strained. I can’t speak for her, but I know that I was still feeling bad about not being in love with her, and I’d spent a lot of time thinking. I wasn’t sure if I ever would be. When we had talked I told her maybe tomorrow, maybe next month. That’s still true, but I’m wondering if it’s not gonna happen. That spark that changes things from caring to head over heals in love. I don’t know how long it takes to fall in love. It hasn’t ever taken me this long. I still miss her, want to see her, and want to be with her. I think she deserves more than some guy who doesn’t love her that way. I deserve more too. I’m going to give it three weeks once I get home again. That’s enough time for use to settle back in and see what’s gonna happen.

Night one home went great. We had a humongous party after the concert. Everyone was there. It was amazing. All five of us got totally shit faced and stoned beyond belief. Actually most people got drunk and stoned. Jessica was very cool. She was laughing and having a great time. Tracie and Scott looked like they were having fun. My little world was happy.

Until about midnight the next night. I rolled over and answered the phone, "Better be good."

"Scott and I broke up."

"I’ll be right there." I kissed Jessica, "Tracie and Scott broke up. I don’t know when I’ll be back."

Fifteen minutes later I was at her door. She opened it and let me in, "I brought gifts for numbing." I held out the bottle of Tequila.

"If you really loved me you’d get me stoned." She had been crying. I hate that.

I reached into my back pocket, "Ta da! I come prepared." She hung her head and started crying. I put our supplies down and held her, "Aw, Trace. I’m so sorry. Who broke up?"

"I did." I sat down on the couch and let her cry it out. At least she was the dumpee. Somehow I expected no less. Still hurts though. She stopped crying and sat back. "I’m sorry to haul you out on your second night at home."

I fired up the joint, "Stop that. You better know better. Tell me what happened."

"We went out for dinner. This was an anniversary. I sat there throughout dinner thinking this was wrong. Not wrong, just not right. I was bored. Bored, bored, bored. Things started out good, conversation, fun, sex. It was all good. Then it got so so boring. Nice and boring. We always did the same things. I think I figured that I had you and the guys for the fun and excitement. Then when you all were gone I realized how much I was missing with him. I tried to adjust my expectations. You can’t have everything. Then what you all said at the party. I thought about that and realized that he’s not the right one. No sense in keeping it going." She started crying again. "It completely hit him from left field. I mean, we haven’t been fighting and things have been just like normal. No problems. That’s the thing though, too normal all the time. I fucking hate hurting someone." Big sniff here. "He didn’t do anything wrong, and I hurt him. I told him it was about me. Everyone knows that’s bullshit. I couldn’t tell him he was boring. Maybe to someone else he’s not. I expect too much. I’m too used to bigger than life sorts of people. I hate it hate it hate it."

"Trace, you didn’t mean to hurt him. You did what you needed to be happy and for him to be happy."

"But I wasn’t unhappy. I just wasn’t overjoyed. Who the hell deserves to be overjoyed?"

"You do." That made her cry more.

We got through the crying part and made it to the laughing hysterically part. I put in "Better Off Dead". That always works. "It’s got raisins in it." And the part about boiling the bacon killed us both. Made us hungry.

"Look at it this way you can now go find you some not nice sex." I was all about looking for the positives. Ok, I was trashed and humoring myself.

"Hell yes. Not nice sex. It wasn’t bad sex. It was just plain sex. Not like I need to swing from the ceiling fan to get off, but a little something every now and then. Technique wise he was a B-."

"Really now? Can I get some breakdown on this grading system?" This was where having a best girl friend was cool.

"Size was a C. Stamina was a B. Recovery a B. Oral sex a C. Kissing a B."

I rolled my eyes, "I hear you on the oral sex."

That perked her up, "Really."

"Jessica is about a D- there. She can’t blow out a candle if you get my drift."

"Aww, Kevlyn, I’m sorry."

"It sucks." I started laughing, "I guess it doesn’t suck. I’m giving it three more weeks." I was still there.

"Whoa, what the hell happened?"

"Nothing. I don’t think it’s fair to keep stringing us both along. I’m not in love with her, but it’s comfortable. We both should have more. I don’t know that I’ll ever be in love with her. Something is telling me I won’t be."

"We can be alone together."

"Absolutely." I hugged her then sat back, "So what do I give him if I run into him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Zero through ten, what do I give him sympathy wise. Ten is I need to kiss his ass because you were a complete bitch and I’m embarrassed for you, zero is he’s a heinous asshole not fit to lick dog shit off your shoes."

That got her laughing, "Seven, give him a seven. Anyone ever gotten a ten?"

"One of AJ’s ex’s busting him getting a blow job in her car. She got a ten."

~*~Tracie~*~

I was fine. I hate break ups. Having Kevin there made it easier. I needed a hug and some distraction. I was sad for him with the whole Jessica thing. I don’t mean the blow job part, well, not totally. I still don’t completely trust her, but that’s not my call. I am proud of him for not wanting to string her along. I think it’s entirely possible to go on forever with someone you love in a friendship way, and ignore the fact that you’re missing that passion. Kevin is such a passionate man. He would get so unhappy without that, or he’d lose it. I would hate that, and I’d hate that for him.

The next week was calm. I went to work at the club and just practiced laying back. Part of me liked not having the responsibility of thinking about a "boyfriend". Things slid right back into normal with the guys home. AJ was there everyday. I liked having him around. We talked some about Kevin. He liked Jessica alright, but didn’t think she was right for him. He didn’t want to see him hurt though. We talked some about Scott. AJ had run into him and he had asked about me.

Kevin was spending a lot of time with Jessica. He was trying to make it work. I really respect that. If he wasn’t already my best friend I’d want him for one. We talked everyday. She didn’t always come up, but he said things were feeling a little worse. He was worried that it was him distancing himself and wondered if he hadn’t already made the decision. I understood perfectly. This is the same thing I did with Scott. Nothing really wrong, just not everything you ever dreamed of. He had it worse because she was in love with him. Thank God, Scott had never went there. I don’t know if he felt it or not. I prefer not to think about it.

Lee and I went out on Friday night. It’s good to have a girls night. We sat and ranked people as they came in the door. Men and women. Women got "we’re hotter", "look at those shoes", "beauty products have come such a long way", and "fashion faux pas". Yes, we had the superior bitch thing going on. Men got ranked for looks, body, dance ability, and anything else we could pick apart. We watched some get shot down, and watched others be successful. Eventually we found two that we thought were worthy of us. It was hard to pass this test. We wanted a pair of friends to play with us. They both had to be cute. We were out for fun, nothing more. Style was way more important than substance. Once we lured our prey to the table we commenced flirting. One of them asked what we were doing out. Lee responded that we were bored, wanted to play with some men, and maybe get laid in the process. They were speechless. We liked that.

The next night was a party at Kevin’s house.

~*~Kevin~*~

Woo fucking hoo! Party at my house. At least I’ll be home when I pass out. Which I plan on doing. Early and often.

Everyone was in a great mood. Tracie knew something was up and kept looking at me. I waved her off. I wasn’t ready to talk about this. She was good for that. She’d let me have some space, but would come after me later if I didn’t talk. There have been times when we’ve gone to the other knowing full well we were likely to get our heads bit off. Sometimes that happened. We were solid enough to hold up against that. I was attempting to keep her away until I could talk about this, then I’d get totaled.

About eleven I hauled the guys, Tracie, and Lee upstairs. Supposedly for a "private" party. "I need to tell you guys something. I asked Jessica to marry me last night."