Poor little Nick. Feel bad for him. Lee will nicely tell him Pam is one of those parasite fish things that suck onto the side of a whale. I love Pam, canít you tell? Kevin drove me home. We talked a few minutes then I kissed him goodnight and went on in. He wanted to buy a new car. Something sporty and cute. Iím all for that. I can live vicariously, borrow it for something, make myself a key, and keep it for him while heís on the road. Itís bad for cars to sit, you know.

I couldnít sleep. I couldnít turn off my brain. Kept thinking, and couldnít figure out what I was trying to figure out. I cleaned instead. Sparkling clean apartment. Iíd lived her for over a year, but still hadnít done much to make this place mine. Iíve always thought I would get a house at some point. Itís never felt like the time. But, because of that Iíve not decorated too much. Besides decorating in neutrals is not fun. It was three in the afternoon when I finally fell asleep


I went home the next day, about noon. Pam was sitting on the couch pouting. I took a shower, dressed, and fixed myself something to eat. I sat down and acted like everything was fine, because it was. She, of course, let me have it. I didnít kiss up or defend myself. I said that she was invited and decided not to go. I did go and had a great time. She kept on me about "what" I did, "who" I was with. I told her I was with the same people Iím always with. She went for it . . . Iíd met someone, Iíd stayed all night, had sex . . . blah, blah, blah. I looked at her, "Iím done with that. You think what you need to. What I say doesnít make a difference anyway." She burst into tears. I handed her the tissues and went out to work some on my boat.


We did some photo shoot on Monday. I lasted all day, which means ten to four. After that Kevin went car shopping. I tagged along. No mention of dating, or Tracie. I kept throwing out feelers. He didnít respond to anything. Damned annoying, itís like the idea of them as a couple had never crossed his mind. The next couple of days were in the studio. We had decided to do a few days in the studio then a few days away. Trying to not get frustrated and let the ideas flow.

The next day off I picked up Lee and we headed to the club to work on the Tracie end of the equation. She wasnít there. I found someone who told me sheíd called in sick, stomach virus. I looked at Lee and smiled. She smiled, "Are you thinking what I think youíre thinking?"

I was already dialing, "Yo, Kevin! Have you talked to Tracie?"

"No, I was asleep. Why?"

"We came to hang out and they say she called in sick. Just wondered if you knew how she was. Bye." Hung up before he could ask why we didnít call her and ask.


Why didnít they just call Tracie to find out how she was? I called. "Hey, AJ tells me youíre sick. How are you?"

"Shitty. I woke up puking at four am." She sounded like shit.

"What do you think it is? Something you ate?"

"There is some stomach bug going around at the club. Lasts a day or two. Oh shit, hang on." I could hear her throwing up. "Iím sorry, Kevin. I gotta go." I heard more barfing then the phone click.

It was ten and sheíd been doing this since four. Thatís not good. I made a few calls and headed over. She answered the door wrapped in the biggest bathrobe Iíd ever seen in my life. She looked as bad as she sounded, pale and pasty, "You look horrible."

"You canít be here, youíll get it." I pushed past her, "Ok, you like to feel like death."

"No, but Iím not letting you dehydrate over here by yourself. I was worried about you. I went by the store and picked up some stuff. Bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. Mom said so." I put the bag in the kitchen.

"I canít eat."

"Have too. At least then you wonít start dry heaving. Thatís the worst." I fixed her a glass of water and some toast. She nibbled on it and I stared at her until she drank all the water. "Good girl, thank you."

"The water was good. Thank you." She laid her head on the side of the couch, "What are you all doing today?"

"Day off. I was gonna go car shopping. Iíll just shop online. And Iíve got the brochures in my car." I felt her face, "Youíve got a fever."

"Kevin, you donít have to stay here. Iíll be fine."

"Do you like to sick alone with no one to take care of you?"


"Then shut up and enjoy it."

She jumped up and ran for the bathroom. I grabbed a washcloth from her linen closet, wet it and held it on the back of her neck. She laid her head on the toilet and waited for the next wave. "I hate being sick alone. Thank you."

I kissed her forehead, "No problem, youíll return the favor." I helped her up and settled her on the couch. I put in a movie and got her more water. The vomiting kept up pretty frequently for the next few hours. She couldnít keep anything down. She was shaking as we walked back to the couch, "Tracie, you cold?"

"Iím freezing." I sat beside her, threw a blanket over her, and held her. She shook for a good fifteen minutes then fell asleep. From there the vomiting was much more spaced out. She was able to eat and keep it down. I put her to bed about nine, and car shopped. Checked on her a couple of times during the night.


I thought I might live when I woke up. I hate being sick, and I really hate throwing up. Iíd do anything to avoid that. I called in sick again and laid in bed. A few minutes later there was knock at my door, then Kevin walked in with toast and juice. "You are wonderful. Thank you. When did you get here?"

"Yesterday about eleven."

"You stayed the night?"

"Of course. In case you needed me."

"Thank you, again."

"Stop it. I think Iíve decided on the car. Wanna go with me tomorrow to make sure? Iíll take you out for that dinner I owe you after we get it." He was smiling like a kid.

"Yum, Iím actually hungry. Do I get to pick the color?"

"Hell, no. Iíll call you late this afternoon. Take a shower, youíll feel better. I love you."

"Love you, too."


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