I didnít mean to do that. Good lord. Like that needed to happen again! Shit. I am fucking this up. Damn, it felt good though. Quick, but good. I sat in my little corner of the couch. Tracie took her place in her corner. We were staring at each other, neither of us knowing what to say, then I started laughing. Thank god, she joined in. "Tracie, I donít know what the hell is going on. I donít know where that came from."
"I donít either. But damn it was good. What I can remember. Shocked the shit out of me."
Maybe this would be alright, "Me too." A little more silence.
"Any idea what weíre doing?"
"According to AJ weíre dating."
"Lee too." More laughing. "Kevlyn, did something happen that everyone else sees, and we missed?"
I shook my head, "Entirely possible. Iíll tell you what I know. I know that there is no one Iíd rather hang out with. Youíre the first one I want to tell any news. I love to talk, and laugh, and cry with you. I trust you."
"Same here. When I walked in the apartment after we kissed in the car I picked up the phone and almost called you, to tell you what happened. Then figured you already knew."
I laughed, "Yeah, I was there. Youíre my best friend. I never considered anything else. Never crossed my mind. Donít take that wrong." I didnít want to hurt her.
"Not at all. I didnít think of you that way either. We just hung out and had a ball."
"Yeah." I thought a second, "Hey, you said "didnít", are you thinking about me differently now?"
She rolled her eyes at me, "Kevlyn, that was some kiss. I think." She laughed, "I just remember the feeling. Of course, it sent me to another place. I was having quite a dream when you knocked."
"Well, now. Iím looking forward to sleeping now." I got up and got some water, brought her back some, "What now? What do we do? I donít want to lose my best friend."
"Me either. We can let it be a kiss and go back to normal, just friends. Or we can go forward and see what happens, actually go out on a date. Or we can just hang and see what happens. Any ideas you have would be most welcome."
I ran my hands through my hair, "Iím not sure. I donít want to miss something that could be great, but I donít want to lose my friend. I want it all, but Iím afraid to risk one for the other."
She sighed, "Me too."
"What if we take a couple of weeks, and play it by ear. Do normal stuff, hang out, party, whatever. See what happens. See what we want to do. Just friends, or see if there is more fun to be had." I wiggled my eyebrows.
"Oh god, you are a nut." She flicked water on me, "Iím ok with that. Weíll take a few weeks and see what we want to do."
"I said a couple of weeks, not a few."
"Oh Iím so sorry, define "couple"."
I laughed, "Two. Iím gonna go home. Sleep. See what I dream about. Iíll call you later about getting the SUV."
"Ok, Iím going back to bed too. Maybe Iíll pick up where I left off. Ooo, maybe we can meet up in our dreams for a test drive!"
"Give me an hour." I got up and headed to the door. I kissed her forehead, "I love you, Trace. Glad we can talk about anything."
"Love you too, Kev. Of course we can. Always."
That went amazingly well. Best I can tell now weíre both considering fucking each other, but weíre gonna see what happens the next two weeks. For me, if I easily slide back to being just friends, thatís where we belong. Or if I decide I just wonít risk losing her to see if there could be more. This is the good version or something is better than nothing. Iíd rather be just her friend than not have her at all. Weíll see how I feel.
I was having one hell of a hot dream. Damn. Then him showing up like that. Itís really not fair when a man is bigger than you and can just grab you and kiss you. Maybe fair is over rated.
So for the next two weeks we act like everything is like it was and see if we can do that or if the need to explore things further is worth the risk to our friendship. I have no freaking clue.
Let me know what you think!! Lisa