~*~AJ~*~

Kevin is late. Really really late. No one answered at his house or either of their cell phones. He bounded through the door two hours late and dropped his stuff on the floor, "My girlfriend is a freak. Sorry, I’m late. Frankly, your damned lucky I am here at all."

"Good night I take it." I glanced over. I wasn’t sure if we were pissed or not.

"Oh holy fucking hell. She did things to me last night that I never even imagined that I wanted done. Then wouldn’t let me touch her, but let me watch."

Nick laughed, "You realize you are a freak as well and I fucking hate you. You got the great best friend, who ends up being a great lover. I want fucking details!"

Kevin was laughing as he walked over and kissed the top of Nick’s head, "You’ll find yours. We’ll talk later."

Nick pumped the air and we went back to work.

~*~Nick~*~

I can’t say that anything at home was really different. Pam continued to pout and bitch and not trust me. I had this bizarre hope that with Kevin and Tracie getting together she would see how happy and fun they were and it might help us. I don’t know where that idea came from. Like I said, maybe just hope. Instead she went the other way.

"You want that don’t you? You want what Kevin’s doing."

I just looked at her, "Of course I want that. Don’t you? Jesus, Pam. They are friends and lovers. They’ve always had fun together, now it’s got sex too. They are happy and enjoying each other. Who the hell wouldn’t want that? We used to have that."

"You know it’s just the beginning for them. Reality will hit and it won’t be all fun."

My mouth dropped open, "Pam, you have no fucking clue."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn’t easy for them all the time. Shit, Kevin makes everything difficult because he’s Kevin. But they still have fun. Make it fun. Where is our fun?"

"You don’t love me anymore do you?"

"That is not what I asked. I ask why we don’t have fun anymore. We fight, we never get anywhere, and we never make up. Like this. I ask about fun and you immediately make it about you. I don’t love you? Have you once heard me ask if you love me?"

"Do you love me?"

That was it. I snapped. Calmly. She couldn’t pull the focus off her for 2 seconds. "Pam, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter either."

She looked shocked. It’s like she had no idea that she would eventually drive me away with all that. "What do you mean?"

"There’s too much shit anymore that I don’t know if I love you. I probably don’t. It’s died. Either way I can’t do this anymore. I can’t always be questioned and be on guard. I can’t make you feel good about yourself about us. I can’t make you feel my love, when all you do is think how you don’t deserve it. It’s not worth it anymore. I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, "It’s over, Pam. I’m done."

She was crying. I expected that. "What am I supposed to do? Are you going to give me five hours like Kevin did Jessica?"

"I’m not kicking you out on the street. I thought for a second about what would be fair. "I’ll help you move, money or what ever. If you want to go back home. End of the month. I’ll stay with one of the guys. I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry."

I walked out the door. I took another deep breath and noticed that I felt better. I got in my car and thought, "whew, glad that’s over." I felt this huge surge of relief. I wanted to celebrate. That bothered me. Not that I wanted to celebrate, but that I had stayed so long that it had got to the point that getting out made me instantly happy. That’s wrong.

I drove around for maybe an hour. Thinking. I started feeling more guilt about feeling good. I figured that Kevin would understand and drove there. He answered the door, "Hey, man, what’s up?"

"I did it. Told Pam it was over."

"You ok?" He waved me in.

"Yeah." I sat down and kicked back, "I feel really good. I feel guilty for feeling so good. I figured you might get that. Jessica.’
He sighed, "I don’t know that I felt good. I was glad when it was over."

"But you didn’t feel bad about ending it."

"Not at all. I felt stupid for not knowing better. Angry as hell. Sad that it was a relationship over, and ecstatic that it was over. Well, almost over." He stopped and looked sad, "Nick, don’t beat yourself up for taking care of yourself. You worked your ass off and hung in there longer than I think you should have."

Thanks." It was good to hear this, but not exactly what I needed. Tracie came down the stairs. "Hello, Tracie."

She had on one of Kevin’s UK shits, "I wondered who had distracted him." She messed up my hair and kissed my head, "I’ll let you boys talk."

"Sorry to interrupt." I smiled remembering today’s announcement.

"You’re not interrupting. Even if you were it’s fine. I love you."

"Thanks, Trace. I love you too. Pam and I broke up. Well, I broke up."

I got a hug, "Aw, sweetie, are you ok?"

"I’m fine. Better actually."

"Good. I’m glad and sad for you. Let me know if you need anything, and you know you’re welcome here anytime."

I hugged her and held on, I guess that was something I needed, "Thank you."

She headed upstairs until Kevin yelled, "Um, excuse me. Can I get a goodnight hug and kiss?" He stood as she came back. I didn’t get THAT type of hug and kiss. His hands were on her ass, again.

Kevin watched her head upstairs with the world’s biggest smile. "Dude, once you two got started." I shook my head and laughed, "You can’t keep your hands off her ass!"

He smirked, "I know! I can’t believe I missed that."

"You didn’t. You’ve been watching her ass for over a year. We’ve all seen you do it. You always watch her ass. For some stupid reason you ignored it. It’s a great ass."

"Oh yeah, it’s a great ass."

We talked for a while longer. I could always count on Kevin even though he gave me shit a lot. "I’m gonna go take a drive. Think. Let you get back to doing what ever you were doing. To that ass."

We both laughed, "Nick, she’s right. You’re welcome here anytime. Stay if you want."

I hugged him, "Thanks bro, I may take you up on that. I’ll call you later."

I drove some then found myself at Lee’s house.