We walked straight toward them. I wanted them to talk this out. She needed to understand that Nick was always going to have temptation, but heíd been nothing but good. He needed to understand what it was like to be a Backstreet Girlfriend. Sara and I had talked about this a million times. It was hard. It took a strong strong woman. Pam was not a strong strong woman, but she could be if Nick was willing to take the time and help her. Lee was a good friend, hopefully sheíd understand. I started, "I thought you two should talk."

Nick had this cold look on his face, "Howíd you get out of jail?"

AJ stifled a laugh. I glared at him, "I bailed her out. She doesnít belong in jail."

"The hell she doesnít. That or an insane asylum for fucking fruitcakes." So maybe Lee wasnít going to cooperate.

Pam winced, "This isnít about you. Nick, we need to talk."

"No, we donít fucking need to talk." Nick yelled, "I donít need to talk to you ever again unless itís through my lawyer."

Lee shook her head, "We found your diary." She spoke to Pam, but looked at me.

I watched Pam turn pale then closed my eyes, "Who . . who . . found my diary?"

"Tracie and I did."

Oh damn. I could tell my the look on all of their faces what she had written in there, "Frack, bro, let me explain." I reached out and grabbed his arm.

He jerked away from me, leaned his face down to me, "Donít fucking talk to me like that." He let go of Leeís hand and walked toward the kitchen.

Thankfully Lee didnít follow. I needed to explain, to tell him what had happened. "Nick, please . . . let me explain." I caught up with him and stopped behind him.

He turned on me. Iím not sure Iíve ever seen him so angry. I can understand. "What the fuck could you possible have to say to me?"

"I want to explain. It only happened a few times, it didnít mean anything. She felt lonely and scared and it just happened."

Before I knew what hit me I was slammed into the refrigerator, "You were fucking my girlfriend and you stand there telling me it didnít mean anything? Iíd rather hear that you fell in love with her, and it wasnít just a fuck. You fucked my girlfriend, Brian. Jesus fucking Christ, I never expected that from you. At least if you loved her I could say it was a fate thing, and you canít stop love. I canít do that with a fuck."

He sat me down, "Nick, it wasnít all . . " I was cut off by Nickís fist in my stomach.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! I donít want to hear it!"

"Calm down."

"I said shut the fuck up!" Nick punched me in the mouth and I tasted blood as I hit the refrigerator again. This time a bunch of Tupperware fell on me. "You goddamned self righteous bible thumping jackass!" He leaned down and grabbed me by the shirt. I winced knowing I was going to get hit again. He hit me a couple of times before it suddenly stopped.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Kevin grabbed Nick and I was loose.


One second Iím making out with my girl and the next I hear all this cussing and screaming. "What the fuck is that?"

"Oh shit, Nick and Brian." Tracie took off and I followed. She stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and I saw those two going at it. No, I saw Nick going after Brian. Nick had gone through a swinging period growing up, but this was different, he was pissed beyond that.

I grabbed Nick and pulled him off Brian, "What the fuck is going on in here?"

Nick struggled and I let him go, "Goddamn asshole, let him fucking tell you. Youíre his cousin. Fuck."

I helped Brian off the floor and found a washcloth for his lip. He was going to have at least a black eye, "What the hell, Brian? Are you ok?"

"No, Iím not ok. My best friend just beat the shit out of me and I deserved it."

He headed out the kitchen and out the front door, "What did you do?"

"One night when Nick and Pam had a fight . . ."

I closed my eyes and cut him off, "Oh god Brian, please tell me you didnít fuck her." He stared at the ground, "No wonder he beat the shit out of you. Hell, I want to beat the shit out of you. How could you? Heís your best friend."
"I know. Iíve felt like shit since then, and when it happened again . . ."

"Again? You fucked her more than once." I couldnít believe what I was hearing, "Once is a mistake, more than that is . . . I donít know. What were you thinking?" He told me this whole thing about her being insecure blah blah blah, nothing I didnít know, "But how did you fucking her make that better?"

"I donít know. I donít know. The first time it just happened, she was so upset and felt so lost I was holding her while she cried and then we were in bed. Then after that I donít know. She told me that she felt wanted with me, that I wanted her and that felt good. I guess I liked that, and since it had happened already."

"What about Sara?"

"She doesnít know."

I wanted to slam him on the ground and kick his ass, "Brian, Nick . . . I can maybe understand cheating on Sara, but Nick. Man, heís your best friend. Was your best friend. Didnít you fucking think what that would do to him? Hell, what that will mean for all of us. Youíre not this stupid."

"I wanted them to stay together. It made sense at the time. If she felt better about herself sheíd stop nagging him so much, and they could go on. No one needed to find out. Thatís why I brought her here tonight. Nick having her arrested was too far. They need to talk this out"

Nightmare. I yelled this time, "You bailed her out and brought her here. Donít you think heís been through enough with her for one day. Trashing the house, all the shit she wrote on the walls, and nearly fucking killing his dogs. They canít talk that out!"

He looked at me like itís lost my mind, "What are you talking about? She told me he came over and had changed his mind about letting her have till the end of the month and when she couldnít get out fast enough he called the police."

I laughed, "She lied to you. Go home, Brian. Let him cool down."

I went back inside to find out what else I didnít know.


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Let me know what you think!!   Lisa