~*~AJ~*~

I grabbed Lee for the next slow song and told her. We watched them slow dancing. He holds her hand, bodies stay a few inches from touching, they spent most of the dance talking and laughing. Yep, early dating behavior. Ok, fine, they did this all the time as "just friends", but this time they were both single, both not looking for anyone else, and both had huge trust issues with the opposite sex. Except for each other. "They" made sense. Maybe the timing had always been off?

We had a private party which resulted in the munchies, which resulted in . . . breakfast. Brian and Howie took their dates on home. The five solo players raided a 24 hour diner and got enough bacon to feed a third world country. Enough that Tracie and Kevin didn’t have to fight over it, but they still did. Cute.

I was ready to go home and see if my lady was home from her get together with her girlfriends.

~*~Lee~*~

Poor kid. The minute we started talking about heading home he looked like we’d just shot his dog. He had a great time tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nick have as much fun as I’d seen him have tonight and at the party we threw. Both nights without Pam. As it turns out, both nights after having stood up to Pam and not bought into her guilt trips.

"Nick, did you guys have a fight? Is that why you don’t want to go home?" I was the one. I’m pretty sure Kevin knows more and him asking would be like telling a secret. If Kevin knows it, Tracie probably does. Wish they’d just get over it and fuck.

"That obvious?"

"Only to everyone."

"I’m not going home tonight. Period. I’m having a great time and I’m not going to let her ruin it."

I don’t know where this came from, "I have a spare room. Let’s go." Maybe it was I just felt sorry for him. Maybe it was I didn’t want him going with Kevin and Tracie, wanting them to have as much time alone together as possible to see if they figured it out. Or maybe it was because he’s hot and sweet and I have a crush on him. Na, couldn’t possibly be the last one. That would mean I was actually aware of my feelings. Can’t have that. Yes, I have a crush on Nick Carter.

I led him back to my place and showed him around. He made himself a little nest in the corner of the couch. Sat there Indian style taking up as little space as a six foot two man can. I got us both something to drink and sat, "You ok? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it."

He ran his hands through his hair in the way I learned signaled frustration, "I don’t know what to do. Scratch that. There is nothing I can do. I’m finally getting that picture."

"Good."

"You too? Damn. That obvious to everyone but me. How is that possible?"

I laughed, "I don’t know. Explain Kevin and Tracie?"

"Good point. Shit, that obvious!" He was laughing too, "What is it with those two? They are perfect for each other. Matching sex drives, both sarcastic, both scared to death. Perfect."

"And you are this great guy who is too nice and happened to find the perfect person to suck you dry." It just came out, I meant to censor it.

"Is that the sugar coated version?"

"Aw Nick, I’m sorry. That sounded horrible." I felt bad.

"Is that what you really think?" He looked so small. Like a lost little bird curled up in his nest.

I sighed, "Yes. I think you are great with her. I have never seen you do anything that is disrespectful to your relationship. Any flirting I’ve ever seen you do has obviously been in fun."

"I meant the sucking me dry part."

"Kinda harsh, but yeah. I hate to see that happen to nice guys, some vampire girl gets her hooks in you and bleeds all that niceness and trust. Then the next one you meet you don’t do all that for because you’re wearing that necklace made out of garlic that keeps her far enough away for you to be comfortable. Hate it, hate it."

"I do feel worn out and lifeless these days. Not since we got back from California though. It was good. We had a meeting, just the guys. Aired some shit. It’s good when we do that. No one knows us better than us." I could see him thinking and waited. "So how do I not get bled dry, and be good to the next lady?"

I’m not sure if he realized he had just stated his intention. I smiled, "You get out while you still have something left to give. Then you find a woman who will not take advantage of you, but not let you get away with things you learned to do with Pam. Like staying away after a fight, not facing her. I’m not saying that you should go home. Not at all. Actually, I agree that staying away and enjoying the night is what you need to do. But in general it’s much better to face it and deal with it, you know that."

He shook his head, "Yeah, I do. But I can’t win, and I’m getting really tired of fighting. I lose too much in the fight."

"Exactly. You know what you want to do. Now you just have to check it out a little longer, then make your move. See how this fits for you." Still being direct. Even though I have this crush on him I think I’m stating facts and being objective.

"So tomorrow I go home. I go about day to day thinking I’m almost done, stop fighting, let nature take it’s course, and see what happens. I’m done breaking my ass to prove I’m trustworthy. She either believes it or not, but I’m done with feeling responsible."

I smiled, "Good boy. I hope it works out, I hope she gets it together. I know you love her."

"You know . . . love dies in slow motion. This has been going on for a long time. I don’t know if I’m so pissed by her anymore or I’m falling out of love with her, but it’s not the same." He looked at me, and I wished I had the answer.

"Nick, anytime you need to talk, or want to talk. I’m here." I meant that. I feel like I have to justify things with all he’s dealt with from her. I’m not saying I’ll be there for him in hopes of benefiting from it. Scoring points with him. That’s her game, not mine. I don’t play that way.

"Thanks, Lee. I appreciate that. It’s nice to get a different opinion from the guys’. Even though it seems to be the same opinion. I’m beat. I’m going on to bed."

"Night." I stayed up a little longer and worried about the little bird sleeping peacefully in my spare room.