I got up in the middle of the night and went in search of my best friend. She was sitting on the deck laughing with Lee. "Morning ladies."

Lee looked over, "Nice hair." I reached up and felt the odd angles I was experiencing.

"Leave him alone, sex does that to your hair."

I kissed her head, "Thank you."

"Iíll always stick up for you in front others, Kevlyn."

Lee stood up and stretched, "Iím outta here. I have to work tomorrow. Kevin, excellent party. Good luck on the tour." She hugged me and headed out.

I sat down in her chair, "Two weeks of rehearsal then tour. Iím excited, and scared shitless."

Tracie propped her feet in my lap, "Itís already sold out. Thatís amazing. Youíll be ready. Youíll be great. CDís number one. Everythingís perfect."

"Itíll be good." I rubbed her feet, "Letís go find a couch." We took our normal positions at either end. "What do you think of Jessica?"

"I like her. She seems nice, and so far I like you with her. Are you in love with her?"

"Shit, Trace! I didnít see that one coming." I didnít either.

"Part of the service I offer."

I had to think for a minute, "No. I could be, but not right now." More thinking, "Yeah, I could be. Sheís strong, and since I backed her down about the game playing I havenít seen anymore of that."

"Good, I want you to be happy." She yanked on my toe.

I did the same thing, "I want you to be happy too." This had just gotten really fucking weird. Like we were saying good-bye or something.

"This has just gotten really fucking weird."

I busted out laughing, "I was just thinking that. Whatís going on with us?"

"I got jealous before coming over here tonight."

"You got jealous, about me?" I was teasing her. That was funny.

She groaned, "I hate that. I hate admitting that."

"Youíre serious!" I sat up, "What about?"

She closed her eyes, "That Jessica would get all my time, that youíd be following her around like some lovesick puppy, and she wouldnít let you play with me anymore. Eww, god. Yuck." She bent over and buried her face in her arms on the couch.

I pushed her up and took her face in my hands, noticing for the first time how small her face was, "No way. Youíre my best friend and I love you. Family. You always come first. You just happen to be a woman. If Jessica canít deal with that she goes. I can always find another girlfriend. I canít replace what you are to me." I hugged her, "Oh shit, you really are a woman. Complete with all those girly emotions. If you and Jessica PMS at the same time Iím toast."

"Iím gonna talk to her and weíll synchronize our birth control pills."

"Just make sure youíre the one who adjusts, I donít want to be cut off."

"Oh no, we couldnít have that. Iíll just get knocked up by the boyfriend of some groupie your getting a blow job from. Donít worry about me."

"I always have condoms, just ask." Whew! Back to normal.


He makes love to me then goes downstairs and sleeps with her on the couch? Iím not sure thatís not too far. Thatís fine that he has a "girl guy friend" as he calls her, and I can leave that alone. But sleeping together is cutting into my territory. Especially the night before he leaves. She was a lot of fun at the party, and Iíve heard nothing but good things about her. The other guys like her.

Everyone went to see them off at the airport. When they called for their plane he turned and kissed me, "Iíll see you in two weeks. First night of the tour."

I couldnít do that, "Second night remember?"

"Oh yeah, thatís right. Iíll call you tomorrow." One more kiss and hug.

He went over and waited for AJ to stop slobbering all over her. He handed her a key, "You should just stay over there."

"I might. You have better cable than I do."

"Iím serious, Tracie, make yourself at home." She shook her head. They hugged and kissed. "Iíll talk to you later, I love you."

"I love you too. Be careful, guys."


They got on the plane and she came over, "Letís go get something to eat. While heís away we need to rearrange all his drawers. Thatíll be fun."

We had a nice lunch and got to know each other. She was full of stories about the guys and seemed to be trying to make me feel welcome, comfortable. I laughed and did have fun, but I donít know if I trust her. Why would she want to be just his friend? Have they slept together and it didnít work out? Is she into girls? This doesnít make any sense.


That little voice is talking to me. Iíll be watching. Donít fuck with my reality.


I went out the next week to watch rehearsal. They were getting it down and it was looking good. They were doing my fave song. Excellent. Loved the choreography. A little sexual aggression is always a good thing. I stayed through the first night of the tour. Talk about a fucking party. I think they were a lethal combination of terrified and excited. They all five exploded after the show. We took over some club and nearly drank them out of booze. Kevin deposited himself next to me in a booth. I recognized the look in his eyes, "Good blow job?"

He laughed, "Is there such thing as a bad blow job?"


"Ok, point taken. Yes, pretty good. Iíll be going back for more in a few minutes. Maybe get a piece of ass this time." He put an arm around me, "Iím so glad you were here. Thanks. I love you."

"I loved the show. Proud of you."

He gave me a stupid drunk grin, "But do you love me?"

"Of course, I love you."

"Good, dance with me." I love him, but his dancing scares me. No rhythm. "Oh lord, the room she is a spinning."

I was hysterical, "Now, Iíll be dragging your butt to your room?"

"Why arenít you drunk?"

"I am drunk. Youíre uber-drunk." I hauled him upstairs and got him in his room just in time for the first wave to hit.

He came out of the bathroom and laid his head in my lap, "Make the room stop spinning."

"Put one foot on the ground, itíll stop."

"Thank you."

"Hey, did you know you have like no rhythm?"

"I can dance."

"Sure you can. Choreographed, counted off things." I was hysterical again, "Do you have to count during sex?"

"Do you think it would make it better?"


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