I got to Tracieís and took a long hot shower. Trying to wash away the guilt and ugliness of the last month. I needed to move past all this. I needed to get my life back together. I have good friends who care and will do anything for me. Iíve always had secrets, dark parts in my life, that I manage and deal with just fine. It takes time to move on, and effort. This is one of those. Tonight I start over, moving on. Party with my closest friends. I canít say I wonít drink, or get stoned, or fuck anymore. Thatís unrealistic. But it will be recreational, and not to escape. I need the annulment papers in my hands. My lawyer told me three months from the date we signed them. It strikes me as ironic that it takes three times the length of my farce of a marriage to get out of it. I am the type of person who needs things tied up in neat little passages. I wonít be able to totally put it behind me until I have those papers.

I raided Tracieís fridge and laughed as I found a note on my favorite flavor of yogurt, "I knew youíd come looking for me. Welcome home, Kevlyn". I ate and thought about her. She had been the best friend. She pushed when I needed pushing, and left it alone when I didnít. She instinctively knew no to push this one. I had asked a lot of her. Letting me stay with her, babysitting Jessica at my house, and getting her to sign the papers. Tracie did it all without a thought, without a question. I owed her a lot. I owed her an explanation. Someday.


Lee and I spent all day making preparations for the party. Transforming Kevinís orderly little house into a playroom. We shoved all the furniture to one side of the room and put up a play house. We got this tent like thing. It had a big main area then those tunnels that went to different areas. One area was a space pod with a steering wheel that made shooting sounds. Weíd lose Kevin there. There was a section that led to a blow up boat, it was big and bouncy. Good-bye Nick. I even put a blow up shark to the side. Small maze of tunnels. You had to navigate the tunnels to get to the main room. Youíre wondering how big is Kevinís living room. Well, if you move all the furniture from the living room and dining room, itís pretty damn big. We rented a space jumping thing and that was set up in the back yard, and you could climb to the top and slide into the swimming pool. We had rented a ton of cartoons and those would be the background noise. We had filled the house with nothing but junk food. Chips, cookies, pizzas, burgers, hot dogs, and brownies. "Special brownies". Adult brownies. We had "Special Jello" in ice cube trays in the fridge too. To appease AJ we made some obscene jello. It would be kind of fun to watch the guys eat a cherry jello penis.

They were due at six. It was 5:30 when the doorbell rang. I looked out the door and saw Kevin. I opened the door, keeping it chained, "Youíre half an hour early." I was actually very excited to see him.

"I know. But one, itís my house. Two, they think youíre kidding about making them eat paste. I know better. Not risking it."

"What is your super secret nickname?" I said in a sing song voice.

"Snot face." He rolled his eyes.

I opened the door and flung myself in his arms, "Iím so glad youíre home. I worried about you when I couldnít see you, and I knew you were hurting."


"How did you know that?" Absolutely amazing.

"I know you. You like to party, but not like that. You were numbing out."

I kissed her, "I love you. Itíll be better now, Iím gonna get myself back under control." I back up and read her name tag, "Fancy Pants?"

"I have on sequined panties."

I patted her back as I walked by, "How nice for you." I saw my family room, "Holy shit! What have you done to my house?"

"Itís now a play ground."

Lee walked in. I hugged her and checked out her name tag, "Ultra Girl, nice to see you."

She smashed a name tag on my chest, "Good boy, we only use our nicknames tonight, snot face."

Half hour later the others were there and wearing name tags. Nick was "stinky fart", that was fitting. Brian was "pissy pants", somedays that was true. Howie was "sloshy shorts". And AJ was "booger eater", god I hope not. AJ was also last to arrive.

Tracie came running out of the kitchen, "AJ, new concoction, itís got JD in it. Tell me what you think. Think "electric jello"."

AJ was always game for something involving JD and opened his mouth. I cringed. AJ cleaned the spoon and rolled the substance around in his mouth, then made a face and started smacking his mouth, "Thatís horrible, what the fuck is that?"

I was already laughing so hard I could barely breathe, "Man, she just fed you paste!"

AJ started spitting and wiping his tongue, then started licking Tracieís shirt, "You are such a bitch."

"She told you, last to arrive ate paste. You need to believe her. I got here early."

Tracie was laughing as he continued wiping off his tongue, "You were easy."

"Iím gonna find something to get this taste out of my mouth. That was nasty." He was laughing as he left the room. He came back eating a brownie, "Tracie, remind me to never let you cook for me. How do you fuck up brownies? These taste like they have grass in them."

Tracie and Lee looked at each other and made a shocked face. Nick stood up, "No way! Excellent." He took off for the kitchen with the rest of us right on his hills. We brought the girls back brownies too. "Love you, love you, love you, fancy pants. I havenít had pot brownies in forever."

"God, they taste bad, but feel so good." I said. It was different high from smoking it. And it seemed to last 24 or so hours. I got a distinct feeling this wouldnít be a one night party. I donít know how they knew how much we needed a party with just the five of us, but they did. Them serving as hostesses and good friends made it complete. Like always we didnít have to be anything with them. We had other friends like that, but none were as close as Tracie to me, and that brought along Lee. Tracie is the only one with the access to me, and the only one I can think of who would do something like this. And a party with pot brownies, electric jello, bizarre name tags, and childrenís toys is something we would only ever get into in a secured private place. Meaning one of our homes. I should never have given her a key, look at my house. Really for all my bitching I loved it, and she knew it.

It took Nick three minutes to be crawling through tunnels and bouncing his ass in the toy boat. It took me a brownie and a jello shot to be in the pilot seat and shooting at invisible alien invaders. AJ, Brian, Lee, and Tracie started at four ends of the tunnel and had a race to see who could make it out first. Howie was the judge. They were messed up and Iím not sure anyone won. Lee got stuck in a tunnel with Brian. Not really, but Brian enjoyed it. A little simulated 69 action. Tracie came up for air in my space pod. I looked down between my legs to see her face laughing, "Woo hoo, what a view, snot face."

"Oh god, oh fancy pants, oh yeah, do me baby." Ask how quick the others looked over. Iím a moaner not a talker. And my best friend, get real.


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Let me know what you think!!   Lisa